Monday 23 December 2013

We Belong Together Cover

I heard someone once say that when performing music, especially vocals, you have to pretty much not care about what you look like in order to really emote and connect with the song and, therefore, the audience. I know this to be true of myself when I play flute - my sister informed me a long time ago that I look like a "compete dork" when I'm playing. I think she was referring to my animated (and I'm sure pretty dorky) body movements and accompanying facial expressions. I never recorded myself playing so I have never actually seen this for myself - taping yourself is a whole other ballgame. I am still getting comfortable in front of the camera, but I think I've come a long way from when I started. I think it helps that I record alone in my room but I used to cringe watching playbacks in the beginning thinking "omg, do I really look like that"?! I've never thought anyone else performing looked weird. In fact, I always just thought that they were extra great because they were so into the music. It's funny the self-cringing phenomenon that occurs when you see or hear yourself for the first time (and I know I'm not alone in this), whether it be on an answering machine, tape recorder, or in my case, camcorder/YouTube/internet blog. Like I said a while back...go big or go home! 

Enjoy ma face friends :)



As always, thanks for the support!


Thursday 19 December 2013

Things Broke...but nothin' a little gusto can't fix!

Hello friends. I'm so sorry I stayed away so long. I didn't mean to and I certainly didn't want to but things broke...like my computer, and my car, and my voice (again!), and the skin on my finger tips and my long streak of maintaining a pest-free home (in case you're wondering, the roach kind of pest and I ain't talkin' Papa). It took me some time to replace/heal/annihilate all of the things that broke and then it took me some more time to figure out how to use the new things (like my brand new awesome MacBook Air), but by Jove, I think I've got it! ....or maybe I'm just close. Either way, I need to upload a ton of new things. The first of which (below) I recorded a month ago after deciding that the content of these videos had become way too gloomy and serious - it was time for a dance party...in my room, by myself, on a Saturday night, cuz I'm cool like that. As you will see, I tend to make faces and sway a lot so sorry I'm not sorry because I had fun and will probably do it again. 

Emma - out.



Seriously though, thanks for bearing with me. During my blogging absence I have received tons of calls and texts from y'all asking for updates, requesting songs and offering help and I'm so very grateful. My original goal is still in the works and I will have an update on that soon.

<3


Tuesday 19 November 2013

I'd Rather Go Blind Cover

So probably NOT the best week for me to take on an Etta James song, but I had to - it was on my chalkboard list!

I am still suffering from a sore throat/persistent cough so please excuse the pitchiness...it's a result of me trying to prevent my voice from completely breaking.

I might re-do this song once I'm all better, but for now, I dedicate this to my lovely friend Brooklyn Young 'cuz what happens in Naw' 'lens stays in Naw' 'lens! :)





Thanks for all of the support!

<3

Monday 11 November 2013

For Walter

This little song is dedicated to my love, Walter Ahmet Marr. His mommy and I used to fall asleep to this song at night, sung by the strong Herzegovinian vocals of our grandmother and the slightly tone-deaf vocals of our lovely mother. Love it. Translation below:








Sve ptičice iz gore
All the Birds from the Forest
What we thought it meant

Sve ptičice iz gore x3

Spustile se na more


All of the birds from the forest

Have come down to the sea

All of the birds are on fire
(Ahh! ...what the heck??!)
Came down to the sea
(Phew…ok, they’ll be fine. Water will save them)
Samo jedna ostala x3

Koja nam je pjevala

Only one remained

She sung to us
Only one remained
(guess not)
She sung to us
(I want to cry now)
Koja nam je pjevala x3

O nesretnoj ljubavi

She sung to us

Of unrequited love
She sung to us
(I can’t believe you’re making her sing. Hasn’t she been through enough??) Of unrequited love
(well duh, she probably lost her one true love to the fire…poor birdie)
Zbogom ostaj moja ti
Moramo se rastati

Moramo se rastati
Moja prva ljubavi

Nosit ću te u srcu
Moja mala ljubavi

Farewell my darling
We must part

We must part
My first love

I will carry you in my heart
My little love
Farewell my darling
We must part
(What! You’re leaving her too now?)
We must part
My first love
(you're a monster)
I will carry you in my heart (so sleepy) My little lo….(zzzz) 






Tuesday 5 November 2013

Writing on Walls



Anybody else have a noisy head? I do! Talking talking talking...aaaaall the time. Sometimes this talking makes it hard for me to remember all of the things I need/want to get done in a day, a week, a month, etc. So after one of my typical noisy-brain-induced, therefore panic induced, emotional breakdowns, a very good (and probably severely annoyed...but in the most loving way, of course) friend suggested I write all the things in my head down on a post-it and stick it up somewhere where I’d see it every day. I liked her suggestion so much that I decided to take it up a notch. 


Massive chalkboard wall (pictured below).  


And let me tell you, it was no easy task to get over the anxiety of turning an entire wall black after an upbringing of purely beige wall decor....but I figured it was time to “go hard or go home” (thanks Emi!...good motto). For the last month, I have been having fun drawing and writing and musing so I thought I’d share with all of you in case you’d like to try a chalkboard wall – I highly recommend it.


My "in-progress" shot did not come out well. This is the finished product.
Two coats are definitely required.

The fun begins!

My fancy crown...fussed over and re-done three times and then finally left alone.

Going forward and still in pursuit of my musical goal, I have decided that I’m kicking this blog into high gear and this very attractive wall is going to help me keep organized amongst the very busy daily grind.


 I will be posting another video in a few days so stay tuned. As always, thank you all for the support! 
<3


Tuesday 22 October 2013

Practice Makes Perfect

Hello everyone! I finally figured out how to a) record, b) edit and c) upload a video! Admittedly, it was a lot harder than I anticipated and the end result is less than perfect, but all of those things like lighting, transitions, video quality etc., will need to be worked out as I make and post more videos.

I had talked briefly in earlier posts about my personal struggles with confidence and uncertainty while performing in front of other people (and in life, generally). I started this blog so that I could document my musical journey, get tips on how to improve from other more seasoned musicians and hold myself accountable to my goal. However, I also wanted to deal with some of those fears head on. Which brings me to the video. 

I'm a little awkward and a little shy and, for that, I'm sorry (mostly to my closest friends who might be cringing in anticipation even now)...please divert your eyes away! I hope to make subsequent videos more Zoolander awkward and less Miley Cyrus awkward (did I just make a relevant pop culture reference?! - score!). There are also parts of the vocal that are a little painful and I would not be offended in the least if you skipped over those parts but for all of you brave souls who are willing to sit through the entire video, constructive feedback would be super appreciated AND there are outtakes at the end which are always my favourite thing about these kinds of videos. Okay, click on me below :)





Sunday 6 October 2013

Snag Lag (my apologies)


As life would have it, I’ve hit a few snags along my journey this month. The first of which was getting terribly sick right before my first vocal class. You know that kind of sickness that kinda just sits like right up there in your nasals for weeks on end but that won’t actually drip or ooze or be blown out no matter how hard you try? Yeah - that kind of sick. It also doesn’t help that I don’t sleep very much, have had a shitty diet lately and work in a hospital. No wonder the nasty little bugger (no pun intended) hung on for dear life for so long. However, I did go to my first vocal class and I actually learned something. Did you know that you sing using your sinuses, not your throat?? I didn’t! Did you also know that if you try to use your sinuses to sing while your sinuses are sick you end up sounding like a duck? I learned two things! Unfortunately, the vocal teacher is a professional singer so he is away a lot and so the last two classes have been cancelled – kind of a bummer...but at least I get to practice sinus singing now that I’m healthy again (it’s going marginally well). Video to drop soon.

Second snag– I went to my first guitar class and promptly...quit. Yeah, I know, right?! But I just couldn’t sit there for 1.5 hours each week learning to tune (6 classes of tuning!) and listening to the teacher repeat himself about four times. When he started assuring us “not to worry” and that “we’d be repeating everything over and over again until everyone got it”, that was the last straw - we were just not a good fit. So, I am currently looking for some private lessons and in the meantime I have decided to self teach/re-teach myself the basics. If anyone has any suggestions for material, I’d love to know!

So now, because I did promise a video I thought I’d include the one below until I can post a musical number. It is from the night I exposed my already weakened immune system to 6 blocks worth of torrential downpour and it tipped the scale into full blow immunological fail. It was a rough week and by that point there was nothing else to do but walk on and laugh. No one better to do that with than a bestie (shout out)! :)



Monday 9 September 2013

Black Sheep’s First “Baaaa”


I like music...nay I LOVE music. Not in the way that kids these days (“hipsters”?) are all like, “have you heard [insert metaphorically sarcastic band name here] ...they are so rad” (on a side note, when did we start using “rad” again???) but in the “I love to create and play and dance and listen to all and any kind of music, any time, any day” kinda way (minus screamy heave metal). Not to say that I don’t appreciate a good newbie we’re-so-cool-cuz-we’re-not-cool-yet band – don't you fret, I love those guys too my fellow hipsters (I’m not cool enough to be one of you, I apologize).

I have been singing since I can remember and those who have grown up with me know this all too well since these are the wonderful people who on many occasions have told me to "pipe the heck down already" (they may or may not have used more aggressive language...rightly so). I have also played classical Royal Conservatory type flute music for about 17 years now. However, despite my constant and obnoxious humming, most people don’t know that I am absolutely terrified of performing on stage/in court/in class/etc. and when forced (usually by myself) I often come off awkward and uncomfortable...that is, when I’m not hyperventilating on stage and running off in tears (this has actually happened...I was 13).
 
Well, I’m a grown up now and it’s time to put all that behind me. I am going to concur stage freight once and for all because 1. I want to and 2. this will make me happy. I have owned a guitar since high school and yet I don't know how to play it (as a flautist, calluses on fingers are very unbecoming...yes, it’s true, flautists are that fancy). I have signed up for two classes at the local college – guitar 1 and vocal 1. While I am very excited to get going, I feel like I need a goal; something to hold myself accountable to. So, I have created a challenge.
 
I pledge, oh great Internet world, that by the end the semester I will not only be able to sing, but also PLAY, the following song:

 
I have picked this particular song because it holds a lot of meaning for me and has helped me deal with some pretty heavy stuff lately. The challenge will be:

·  to sing it (I have never had professional vocal training and cannot at this moment hit those high notes),

·  to play it (I have no proficiency at the guitar at this point but am able to read music *phew*),

·  and to not have a complete emotional breakdown during the performance and/or the learning process. 

I plan to document this experience as much as possible and post videos of my progress here on this blog and on YouTube in the hope that the Internet community and some of my friends may be able to offer some guidance. That is the challenge and I am up for it because I don't know for sure that this will make me happy but... I know that I'm brave enough to try.

Wish me luck!



 

Introduction

And so it begins. I created this domain name on Blogger over a year ago and it has just been sitting, waiting and fearing to be written...to be started. Recently, I have come to some stark realizations about myself and my life and I have discovered some scary things. I won’t bore you with the details of those “things” now since that is not the purpose of the Introduction, but I will tell you the gist - I am not happy (yikes! I wasn’t kidding about “stark”).
 
I haven’t been happy for a long time, not really, and if you're feeling a little bit awkward about that statement right now, just imagine my state of mind when I made the realization a few days ago - admitting this to myself was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do....and I've dealt with some pretty hard stuff in my 28 years of life. There are many reasons why I'm at this place and probably many more that I haven’t even come to discover yet and that will only unfold with time...with effort. What I do know is that I am a very fortunate person with many things going for me and many people around me who genuinely love me and want the best for me. You’d think that would be enough to make someone happy, right? Wrong.
 
I think it all comes down to love. I can give it to everyone (and sometimes every “thing” [insert probably unhealthy personification of most inanimate objects here]) under the sun...except for, myself. The Meyers-Briggs personality test labelled me an ENFJ (extrovert, intuitive, feeling, judging). This basically means I react to everything emotionally rather than logically, I’m super good at loving everyone else/seeing the best in people even when they don’t deserve it and also super great at holding myself to an impossible standard of perfection (collective, “Yikes”?). I’m sure you can see how this could be a problem.
 
Clearly, I can’t go on like this - something’s gotta give...and something did...aaaaand now I’m really pissed (I even typed in a few swear words here...and subsequently deleted them...but don’t be fooled – PISSED!). I have decided to confront my biggest bully and take her down - not with physical force, mind you (I don’t believe in violence), but by tattle-tailing...tattle-tailing to everyone I know!
 
So, I blog. HELLO WORLD!
 
 
(take that you stupid...silly bully!)